Beyond the door

Watching the match with my girlfriend was a sobering experience. After conceding the first goal i was dejected i was sullen i wouldn't talk. She doesn't like football, and acted all normal like. But me being an Arsenal fan, i am emotionally connected to my team. only after i left did i realize how stupid i looked to her.

But after celebrating Arsenal's first goal (a yell of 'AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!FFFUUCCKKK YYEEEESSS!!!' was certain to annoy her neighbors, and it might sound as if we were having very, very loud sex) and then their second (pretty much the same but shorter due to the stern look i got) i got shot back down to earth. We're 2-1 up but charlton were still playing pretty good.

So it turned out that the end of the second half was not the most perfect time for a conversation. Whenever we're leading by one goal and we're playing good and so's the opposition, my heart just freezes up and i'm incapable of any sort of communication except for pointing grunting and saying 'shut up'. Only after the final whistle is blown that we fans come out of this trance and are able to join the rest of the world. I know my girlfriend loves me and so I just assumed that she'd be alright with me being a bit thick for a quarter of an hour. She'd understand.

Yeah...

You would never believe me if i said that a lot of relationships are strained by this love for our teams. Not only guy-girl relationships but also fan-boss, fan-client, fan-restofworld. As far as I know losing 2-0 at old trafford isn't a good enough reason to have a hangover on the Monday. Ask my boss. Again

You can actually say that our love for club is a serious deterrent of emotional growth. It's fair to say that for us fans, watching football reverts us into pre-adolescent children. Gimme gimme gimme that win. If we don't get it we cry like the child we are, but if we do get it we'll feel good for a week and then when Arsenal plays again we'll get all grumpy all over again.

But nearly all serious fans are like me in this sense, we love our teams (despite never being loved in return, and yes we know all the jokes so shut yer yap) and even if we could change, we probably wouldn't have it any other way. We love our subject of obsession but it isn't and never will be a healthy sort of love, it's more of an infatuation. And the stupid thing of it is when we have lost faith with our love we can't go out there and try to put our moves on another club. Would you?

So i motion that being a serious fan should universally be labelled a handicap and all fans should be given perks such as lisence to a hangover on Monday morning if our team got thumped.

Any takers to second the motion?