Friday, October 20, 2006
Bloody fucking hell
It's the best ever game to have ever come out and the only reason i'm writing this blog is because i've got nothing better to do.... gotta go get it, the reviews are in and noones giving it less than 9/10 so kiss my loved ones goodbye, i'll be in my room, hopefully clean.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Proud papa...
Sometimes editors don't have that kind respect given to surgons and footballers. My blog 'beyond the door' was finally edited and posted yesterday(i know it was only a few days, but they seemed so f*ckin loong) and it was a pleasure to watch what happened to it.
The blog turned from an alright piece of observation to a more personal, more intimate view of the world in a way i couldn't have articulated. check it out at caughtoffside.com. The irony is that the editing team of COS was much better at speaking my mind than i was.... well what can you do?
I love this life!!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Moving day
So new months resolution number
1. Try to comment on every single piece of writing in this place that somehow, someway manages to interest me.
2. Nothing yet, but this could be a good place to start. What do you think would make a good new month resolution.
Cheers, all...
Monday, October 02, 2006
Me? A writer?
Now after one and a half months of the football season I have to admit that this Arsenalsquad is filling me with hope and confidence. Hleb's playing well, so is Van Persie. Rosicky is showing all the promise that the world cup gave, and Gilberto who still can't pass but now he's making an effort there. Also let's not forget that little uberkid Fabregas. It looks like we know who the squad will be built around in the future. With the emergence of Eboue, Djourou, and Adebayor as potential stars it looks like this Arsenal team is capable of doing things that can only do us proud. Well done, Arsene!! We sing your praises.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
A matter of perception
Beyond the door
Watching the match with my girlfriend was a sobering experience. After conceding the first goal i was dejected i was sullen i wouldn't talk. She doesn't like football, and acted all normal like. But me being an Arsenal fan, i am emotionally connected to my team. only after i left did i realize how stupid i looked to her.
But after celebrating Arsenal's first goal (a yell of 'AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!FFFUUCCKKK YYEEEESSS!!!' was certain to annoy her neighbors, and it might sound as if we were having very, very loud sex) and then their second (pretty much the same but shorter due to the stern look i got) i got shot back down to earth. We're 2-1 up but charlton were still playing pretty good.
So it turned out that the end of the second half was not the most perfect time for a conversation. Whenever we're leading by one goal and we're playing good and so's the opposition, my heart just freezes up and i'm incapable of any sort of communication except for pointing grunting and saying 'shut up'. Only after the final whistle is blown that we fans come out of this trance and are able to join the rest of the world. I know my girlfriend loves me and so I just assumed that she'd be alright with me being a bit thick for a quarter of an hour. She'd understand.
Yeah...
You would never believe me if i said that a lot of relationships are strained by this love for our teams. Not only guy-girl relationships but also fan-boss, fan-client, fan-restofworld. As far as I know losing 2-0 at old trafford isn't a good enough reason to have a hangover on the Monday. Ask my boss. Again
You can actually say that our love for club is a serious deterrent of emotional growth. It's fair to say that for us fans, watching football reverts us into pre-adolescent children. Gimme gimme gimme that win. If we don't get it we cry like the child we are, but if we do get it we'll feel good for a week and then when Arsenal plays again we'll get all grumpy all over again.
But nearly all serious fans are like me in this sense, we love our teams (despite never being loved in return, and yes we know all the jokes so shut yer yap) and even if we could change, we probably wouldn't have it any other way. We love our subject of obsession but it isn't and never will be a healthy sort of love, it's more of an infatuation. And the stupid thing of it is when we have lost faith with our love we can't go out there and try to put our moves on another club. Would you?
So i motion that being a serious fan should universally be labelled a handicap and all fans should be given perks such as lisence to a hangover on Monday morning if our team got thumped.
Any takers to second the motion?
The Good Day
If you watch football on Sunday night there's absolutely no buffer to the Monday if you get a bad result. A bad result the previous night is never a good excuse for a hangover on Monday morning. Ask my boss.
But a great Sunday is one where you (your team) gets a result you wanted and at least got another good result (a rival crashing and burning oh, so sweetly). And Today is a Good Sunday.
Truth be told i was a bit dissapointed when Rosicky and Baptista weren't named as part if the starting XI, they had an exciting bit in their last games, so i was a bit down hearted, but it turned out all right. Gallas' injury proved not to hinder him and the decision to play Van Persie ahead of Adebayor was enlightened one.
So we got off to a good start but not good enough. We had an okay start but a lapse of concentration left Hasselbaink in the clear, we could've got to him if it were on our right side(with Eboue's pace) but i still reckon it was a good decision by Hasselbaink not to try to blast it in the net but to just jink it across the face of goal to an unmarked Darren Bent who got a free shot at the coconut.
Down 1-0. But not to worry. We always play better when we're down and anyway our quality showed. 30th minute and when the ball was nearly certain to have gone out (from a badly overstrong pass to the front where someone just kicks the ball forwards in the hope of a striker being able to get anywhere near it) Henry charges in and takes the ball just centimeters away from the line. Then he passes the ball thru the legs of a defender to find Hleb whose skill amazed, confused and embarrassed charlton's defence which gave him enough room to lob the ball to Van Persie who just smashes the ball into the bottom hand corner.1-1.
And then after the restart we got the lead from a smashing 18 yard first time volley from Van Persie which is way to difficult to describe. You just had to watch it. Contender for goal of the season that is. After that it looked like we had control of the game. Henry and Van Persie both missed easy goals and we were coasting all the way except for a scary cross which Hasselbaink thankfully failed to convert.
So that was that 2-1 to the Arsenal. Not to toot our own horn but we were great, the score could've been 6-2 even. Add to that liverpool dropping 3 ponts and ch**ki 2, it's a good sunday.
Honk honk!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Who do we trust??
The natural state of a football fan is frustrated. We're frustrated if we lost to a smaller team. We're frustrated if we lose to a bigger team. We're just plain can't be satisfied unless we do everything perfectly.
Okay, so this is a bit exagerated but pretty true either way. Arsenal fans are frustrated because our team is playing football too perfectly. It's just a little bit insane innit? 3 weeks ago we couldn't get a win because we played too much with the ball. 30 odd shots on goal and 60% possesion but we still managed to find a way to draw. Bloody hell...
We were doing everything right, but results never came our way. So you can imagine the second guessing that arised from fans. We were questioning the wisdom of playing good, atractive, passing football. Seems weird right?
You can imagine the frustration. But what happened is so totally Arsenalesque (to steal Hornby's expression) When all the pundits all around the world were writing us off for the 'Battle of old trafford' we just went in there and played the socks right on off of Manyoo doing what we do best. Playing too perfectly.
Fabregas went and took the ball from Ronaldo jinked a couple of players took a lucky bounce and played a perfectly played ball into the run of Adebayor who rolled the ball just right under the keeper. After 80 odd minutes of fantastic too perfect play, we thoroughly deserved that perfect goal.
Ironically for the next 2 games we discarded the perfect way of football. After proving our point we abandoned our way and just played football, good 'perfect' football and even some scrappy stuff. Our Sheffield utd match showed it all, we had a great goal from a perfectly weighted cross from Eboue headed perfectly into the goal by Henry.
We also had a great goal scored by Gallas his first of (hopefuly) many goals for his new club. And the cool scrappy own goal off a badly timed clearance from Jagielka.
Just as i was still laughing off the Henry header Henry scored another headed goal into the net of Porto. Beuatiful stuff from Hleb as he scored a shot from the edge of the box.
This just serves to prove that however frustrated we get we have to put our faith in our leaders. Wenger turned not only the fortunes of Arsenal but he changed the way everyone percieves Arsenal football. No more shouts of 'boring, boring Arsenal' (exept from us, of course)
He made the Arsenal we know and love. He made the untouchables and now he's in the middle of making a new untouchable team. We're gonna make it, if not this year then the next.
And I'm proud to say that in order to succeed we don't need filthy russian wankers money. All we need is Wenger a little faith and a little luck.
So fuck off all you Arsenal haters cause whatever and however we do we'll still play good football.
He will not only live on in Arsenal, he will be remembered as one of the greatest managers and coaches that football have ever seen.
Thanks, Arsene
We owe you big time
Grumpy young lad
This sucks a big fat ....
This is supposed to be therapeutic right? an outlet of feelings and emotions. Some say don't let it out, some say go let it out. i mean what are we supposed to do?
If i let all this out is it supposed to help me at all? i mean if you read this all you'll see is the part of me thats a grump. You won't see any sensitivity at all... Not that i'm all that sensitive, ask my girlfriend.
Are we all this grumpy and unsatisfied with life, or is it just me? Why do guys have to have an uninteractive outlet to their emotions? This is gender stereotyping but it's been known to happen right?
The fairer sex is able to let go of their emotions to their girlfriends in a healthy, communicative way, where each girl gets something out of the process. One gets help, guidance, closure, and the other gets to take care of her friend and that's got to feel good somehow.
But guys, we scream, gesticulate wildly, and take out our emotions on our hobbies. Guys who like music listen to music and/or write songs. Guys who like sport tackle espiecially hard. Guys who like cars work on their cars and/or wreck them driving 90 mph on a small meandering country road.
What's wrong with us? Is this a genetic flaw? is there an evolutionary reason why girls can communicate while guys can't? Because girls had to help each other gathering food they became more talkative, but guys since they had to creep silently to get meat didn't get a chance to talk? Girls have gossip, guys have war stories.
If i want to talk about my emotions and cry a little i'll get ridiculed. What's wrong with that? Girls want equality, well i want equality too. I'd like to be able to feel and not be ashamed of it.
It's ridiculous. Guys have a right to feel too...
What, am i crying like a litle girl?
On Reflection
Wouldn’t it be fantastic if life really were a series of football fixtures? Or any manner of sports. It would make life a lot more easier to gauge, and ultimately live. Look at it this way.
At the start of every season every team is on level terms. Zero points.
At the start of every match both teams are on level terms. Nil – Nil.
For every match you win you get 3 points, if you draw you share 2 points with the opposition, if you lose you get nothing and your victor takes your points, plunders your village and rapes your sisters.
And then at the end of the season you find out who was better than who for a moment in time and then you declare the general champion in a league.
And then you start over.
Wouldn’t that be lovely?
Shit, that would be fucking splendid, boys.
I’d be able to erase all the crappy seasons of my past and I’ll beg, steal, and borrow to get me a team of mercs that’ll knock Chelski into the last fucking dimension.
Reality does Bite
But it isn’t and probably never will be like that. That’s what sucks in life. But if you think about it in a diff’rent perspective you’ll get something else:
Football teams have a set of measurable objectives for all times in the season. And those objectives differ based on the status of the club (money, support, talent, history, etc.). Every Gooner is going to expect the club to win the League cup, the FA cup, the Premiership, the Champions league, and the biggie big we’re the best in the world don’t fuck with us Cup. But so is everyone at Old Trafford, on The Kop, or in the monstrosity we call Stamford Fridge. And Reading also knows that however hard they try the chances of them getting anything this year is near enough the same as a kid in Wacko Jacko’s bedroom that won’t have to go to a shrink 10 - 15 years later in life. It could happen but not likely.
So everybody (club) knows where it stands, and what is expected of them.
Near enough to real life right? Right. You have to have a lot to be successful. The analogy is that the most successful people/clubs are the ones with the money, the time, the talent and the effort to achieve. So, people with money and time have a considerable advantage. Look at Chelsea, they got the money, they got the time, they got two back to back premiership titles. With that money came talent, and that talent got out and put out a great effort to claim the title. (even tho I still hate them wakers, they bought the fookin’ thing, I fookin’ resent that!!)
So, who are the most successful clubs? The ones with the packed trophy rooms, of course! But don’t get me wrong, look at Wigan. Wigan is also a successful club. Saying Wigan isn’t a successful club is like saying the 173rd most richest guy in the world isn’t successful. Even number 500 on the Forbes 500 is still getting good reviews, good money, and a hot meal at the end of the day.
Success isn’t always defined by trophies and all that. Wigan doesn’t have the money, talent or history to compete with the big four but they still play with the big dogs. And not only that but they stand their ground look at those big dogs and say ‘get the fuck outta my yard!’ They got effort, they got work rate, and more than that they’ve got a winners attitude. And that’s something innit?
To Be or Not... the 60p Question?
So in order to find the answer of 'who is the most succesful club?' we need to break down the equation into smaller manageable bites. To look back at Wigan they're not as successful as ch**ki but they lead a fuller more content life. Why? Because they're alright with not winning any major trophies, they just wanna live in the Premiership. If they were a family they'd be a regular Brady Bunch. Successful enough that they don't have to worry too much about their kids education, but not that successful so as their offspring become insufferable coddled idiots unable to think rationally and/or empathize with their fellow man.
The Brady's may have less money than the Hilton's but look at what happened to their respective children.
Thus the first question to be asked shouldn't be ‘how big is your dick?’ but ‘what can you do with your dick?’ Contrary to popular belief (especially to those that….you know what I mean) size does matter. But how much it matters is an altogether different proposition. How can you negate having a small dick? (or money, or talent, or anything else in your life)
Economic gurus will say: EFFICIENCY.
Liam once sang ‘you get what you’ve been given’, and no, you can’t change that. He also sang ‘we only get what we will settle for’. And not settling will bring you efficiency. That tireless work ethic will get you places you’d never get on talent alone. You think Thierry Henry got to where he was riding only on talent? Fuck, no!
This brigs us to people with not so enormous dicks who won’t settle until they’ve satisfied their ladies (or whatever that fills their fancy). Who hits the hardest, pound for pound? If the New York Yankees win 100 games with a $150 million payroll and the Oakland A’s win 98 with a payroll of less than a third of what the Yankees dole out, then who’s the more successful one? No questions asked it’s the Yankees, but pound for pound? I’m not sure about that.
Thus I cannot say that Ch**ki isn't a successful club. But is that the success that I want?
I love Arsenal emotionally because of reasons unknown, but I love Arsenal intellectually because Arsenal promotes healthy competition. They can't afford all the best English talent so they shop elsewhere, this in turn tells English players to not be too greedy.(Who, in all reality can afford the transfer fee and wages demanded by English footballers?(hear that Ferdinand?)) This also promotes English football in a twisted way. English players will be forced to fight for their places, and they will also learn techniques and other stuff from foreigners and that will make them into better footballers, making the England team stronger.
This Arsenal philosophy isn't only beneficial to the Club, but also to English football and to football in general. So even though Arsenal have only had moderate success, we've done it while giving back to the hand that feeds us. Ch**ki on the other hand have been stifling the footballing atmosphere by making trade unfair while playing a sort of football that's so boring sometimes it's a wonder that they can even win things. They're acting like a rich, spoilt, uninteresting, actress/singer wannabe whore, with so little self esteem they peddle their bodies out on their music video. Even Manyoo is playing fair (even though they can spend 27 million pounds on a player they can't do it 3 times a year, year in year out) and credit to them for that.
Football as an analogy to life? Pretty stoopid eh?
But ask me what I want from life and I’ll answer ‘I want to be successful.’
No doubts and no hypocrisy.
But I want to be a cure cancer type of success, not a promote master race sort.
Can i get a 'fuck yeah!!'?
A.S : Here's a bit of trivia for you....This should actually be dated 18th september 2006.
That's all that can be said... actually theres way more to say but that just about sums it up. The performance wasn't as convincing as i'd like but 0-1 at old trafford isn't a mean feat. Even for the mighty Arsenal. It's a great relief that we have finally shaken off those first 3 torrid games, and gotten a result that actually reflects our team.
the first 15 minutes was a great start for arsenal, and even tho we didn't convert the spot kick we didn't let it get to us. but for the next 70 minutes i felt resigned, and hoped only for a 0-0 draw. Even tho we played a great match but the united defense looked like it couldn't be broken down. but finally Fabregas did the business delivering a perfectly played ball into Adebayor's run who then just sneaked the ball under the keeper. Magnifecent stuff from our young gunners.
it's a feeling that can't be described y'know? the delirium, the jubilation, the final whew of a game winning goal in the last 10 minutes of a game. It just can't be described.the resulting tension also can't be described. you're up 0-1 in old trafford. one of the most unfriendliest places in the fuckin planet. and you just can't for the life of you relax, because you're looking at all these world class players doing everything they can to break us.
but after 4 minutes of half time, with our defence passing the ball around with a calmness that neither i nor the millions of other arsenal suppporters felt, the ref finally blew the wistle and Arsenal have finally gotten our first league win, at old trafford no less. In all liklihood the best feeling i've had in weeks.
Proof of the pudding
actually i've written 3 posts for this blog that i haven't uploaded yet, and after reading them again i'm a bit shocked that my moods are reflective of arsenal. We were in a slough so i was too on a personal; level. It constantly suprises me that football fans are so connected to the fortunes of theur club. this i can prove it easily. After that 0-1 victory at old trafford my friend, a liverpool supporter texted 'congratulations' That was it. only that one word. My reply was 'my condolences'(liverpool 0 - 1 ch**ski)
that's all that we needed to say. We football fans have felt the whole spectrum of emotions, despair, euphoria, cheated against, defiance, everything and anything in the name of our clubs.
Real life doesn't give us this. Football does.
How pathetic.
First ever blog. Should be something special right? Wrong!! it isn't.... As the title implies i'm currently on a medium, not a high thankfully not a low...
There weren't any EPL fixtures to take my mind off things, and even if there were, the form the Arse wouldn't do me any good. They look like they're about to score any minute but what happens? An ill thought challenge and the penalty that ensues finishes us off. I mean how much more frustrating can it get?
We have (arguably) the best striker in the whole wide world but he isn't fit enough to do us much good. We have another taller, supposedly more dominating striker with zillions of chances but none that touch the back of the net! (eerily reminiscent of Kanu innit?) A midfield that even if it is thin, it's still quite formidable. An okay defense, but coupled with the best keeper of last year. We should be winning!!!!
But at least we got rid of cashley and that whiny winger. Arsene made a great coup on the last day of transfers, getting Gallas and The Beast so we did good by the cards we were dealt.
But enough of the football. What once was a welcome distraction from the everyday bustle of life had become an infatuation to rival Paris's. Fortunately it abated, but still...i become an idiot at least once a day because of football.
Actually more presicely because of the Arse.
I said enough already!! This music thing is Hard you know?
The Farce
I've always been in a band since i was about 12 years old. Not that hard to imagine, but that was only 9 years ago. I fell in love with music because of my brother. He gave me my first ever Metallica album, it re-load. Not their best most say, but for me it has a special resonance.
Ever since that fateful afternoon i've been clamoring around town looking for old, abused records by old, abused musicians. (the crowning jewel a The Who plays my generation record)
So, after listening to music i came up with the idea of making my own... Couldn't be that hard, coudn't it? (It turns out it isn't hard, it's only hard if you don't want to write crap) I actually have one song that aired on a local radio station here called 'It's you'. I'm pretty proud of that song, it really encapsulated the feelings i had when i first met my current girlfriend. Mostly giddiness
But after that i just fell into a rut. It's not that i haven't made any more songs, it's just that i can't find the will, or energy to record anything. I don't know why, it just happened. (i suspect it's the Arse, but what can i do about that?)
Hopefully, i'll get someone who knows how to do these things make a link so if anyone wants to download my songs they can...I'm pretty computer illiterate.
Oh, boy... i sound a little pathetic don't I?
See you again on another rainy day!!!